Keirah Ashlyn Shock
Today is our second daughter, Keirah’s, bday. In honor of her, I thought I would list out some of the things God has taught me through her over the past 5 years…
1) God in control…God has been working on my control issues since the day I was born, but with Keirah’s health challenges and out of the box personality, I have daily wrestled with my flesh on letting go. I realize that God put Keirah together and knew about her sensory struggles long before I did. I want to control her behavior rather than lead her through the difficulties she faces. I believe that God gave us Keirah to help me in my spiritual formation in this area, and she is bringing God glory daily.
2) Putting others first…I am regularly challenged by the servant heart of Keirah. She amazes me in her generosity, and others-centeredness. She is so willing to share and let others go first. It seems to come so easily for her. She is the first to respond to need in our home and constantly looks for ways to help. Sometimes it appears she is not listening or is unaware of what is happening around her, but as soon as someone needs something she dashes off to get what is needed. There are moments I am deeply convicted by the God as I watch her operate so selflessly and her actions helps me to refocus on putting people first.
3) What really matters most…As I interact with Keirah, I can get overwhelmed some times by the chaos and lose site of what really matters most. I get lost in the moment and forget that she is a gift from God and that things that feel so important, in the in the scope of eternity do not really matter. Her smile and hugs bring me back to reality. God has used her to point me to Him.
4) Dealing with imperfection. I like everything to be nice, neat, and orderly. My perfectionism is really about my struggle with image management. I want everything to appear smooth and “all good” on the surface. Wow, she stretches me here! Messes and disorder can be the norm for her. I know Keirah will grow in her orderliness as she gets older, but during the past 5 years God has definitely used her to help me work on not being some consumed with my image and what others think.
5) Forgiveness…is hard. I don’t think that I tend to hold on to things, but I do like justice. Keirah is one who forgives easily, asks forgiveness quickly, and she really let’s things go. I know she is young and can move on the next thing because she is distracted by other things, but sometimes I stand in awe of how she does not retaliate when she is treated unkindly or unfairly. Jesus is the most amazing example of doing this, and Keirah has shown me glimpses of Jesus in how she responds to being hurt by someone else.
6) Joy!…Keirah has joy, and brings joy to those around her. It’s not just her smile, she is a fun child. She loves to play and bring others in to have fun. I can be too serious and intense a lot of times. She enjoys life and makes everything more fun. I love the fact she helps me to lighten up. Her singing and playfulness is such a huge blessing.
Just writing these down has made me emotional. I am so thankful to God for each of our 4 kiddos, and today, especially Keirah! She brings us so much joy and growth. Thanks for reading this, it has been a little personal therapy as well as reflection. 🙂
NICKSHOCK.US 